Your Colleague Just Told You They Are Autistic. Now What?
- martine.ellis
- May 12
- 2 min read
If a colleague tells you that they’re autistic, it’s a sign of trust. They may have thought carefully about who to tell and how. You might not know exactly what to say, and that’s fine, but your response will matter to your colleague.
This isn’t a moment to question their diagnosis or compare it to someone else’s experience. It’s a chance to listen, be respectful, and help create a safe and supportive working relationship.
A good first response might be: “Thanks for telling me”, or “I appreciate you sharing that”. You can also say, “Is there anything you’d like me to know?”, or “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to be supportive”. These responses show openness and respect, without placing pressure on the person to explain themselves.
Try to avoid comments like “You don’t look autistic,” “Are you sure?”, or “We’re all a bit on the spectrum”. While these comments are intended to be reassuring, they can feel dismissive or invalidating.
You don’t need to say anything profound; just showing that you’re willing to listen and learn is enough.
After someone has disclosed their diagnosis, you might wonder how best to support them at work. You don’t have to be their manager to make a positive difference. Many small actions can help create a more inclusive and comfortable environment.
Here are some suggestions:
Communicate clearly and directly: Avoid vague instructions, hints or sarcasm. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Allow extra processing time: Some autistic people may need longer to take in information or respond, especially during meetings or fast-paced discussions.
Check for understanding: Without putting anyone on the spot, you can ask if something made sense or if they’d like to go over it again. This helps avoid misunderstandings and gives space for clarification.
Be mindful of sensory and social difficulties: Bright lights, noisy rooms or strong smells can be overwhelming. If you notice your colleague struggling, you could gently ask if they’d prefer a quieter space or if anything could be adjusted.
Understand that change can cause stress and anxiety: Sudden changes to routine or expectations can be difficult. If it is within your control, where possible, provide notice of changes and explain what to expect.
Provide clear expectations of their role: If you’re working on a shared task, be clear about who is responsible for what and when it needs to be done. If your colleague seems unsure, offer to go through it together.
Ensure reporting lines for support are clear: If your colleague is not sure who to go to with a problem or question, that can add stress. Even if you’re not the right person, helping them find out who is can be a huge help.
Ask what they need: Every autistic person is different. While some might not know what they need, others will. Opening up a conversation about what a colleague might need now or in the future is always positive and will likely be appreciated.
Supporting autistic colleagues isn’t about having expert knowledge. It’s about respect, curiosity, and a willingness to adapt. By responding thoughtfully and working together with understanding, you can help create a workplace where everyone can thrive.
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