Why the Kitchen Feels Off Limits: Living with Shared Spaces
- martine.ellis
- 24 hours ago
- 2 min read
For many autistic people, living in a shared home can be complicated. While having your own room may feel safe, communal areas like kitchens, bathrooms or living rooms can feel overwhelming. The kitchen in particular is often avoided—even when you are hungry or need to prepare food.
This isn’t about being antisocial or unwilling to join in. Shared spaces can present very real challenges that make them feel off limits.
Why Shared Spaces Feel Difficult
Kitchens can combine many difficult elements at once. The smells of cooking, the noise of appliances and harsh lighting can create strong sensory discomfort. At the same time, there may be a fear of small talk or being judged for the way you cook or clean. If others leave mess or move items, it can feel like a loss of control. Busy times add to the stress, as waiting for your turn can be draining. When these factors come together, it is understandable that the kitchen may feel unmanageable.
Coping Strategies for Shared Kitchens
There are ways to make using communal spaces less overwhelming. What works will depend on your situation, but some ideas include:
Plan timings: Use the kitchen when it is likely to be quieter.
Prepare in advance: Have simple foods ready that take little time to cook.
Use sensory supports: Noise-cancelling headphones, sunglasses, or unscented cleaning products can reduce discomfort.
Create personal space: If possible, keep a small section of the fridge or a cupboard just for your items.
Agree ground rules: Talking with housemates about mess, washing up, or sharing equipment can make expectations clearer.
Finding Your Balance
Avoiding kitchens or shared spaces does not mean you are failing. Many autistic people find communal living tough. With practical strategies, clearer communication and respect for boundaries, it is possible to make these spaces more manageable.
Your needs are valid, and you deserve to feel comfortable in your own home.
