Social Interaction and Autism

Photo by Baruk Granda on Unsplash

Some autistic people experience social interaction differently. This article explains what those differences might look like and shares some supportive strategies. 

What is Social Interaction?  

Social interaction is how we engage with others and build relationships. For autistic people, the “unwritten rules” of socialising can feel confusing or exhausting. This isn't a lack of desire to connect, but rather a difference in how social signals are processed. 

Autistic people can experience this as: 

• Feeling physically and mentally drained after spending time with others (even people you like). 

• Finding eye contact intense, distracting, or even painful, rather than a helpful part of a conversation. 

• Finding it difficult to engage in small talk or any conversation that doesn't have a clear purpose or topic. 

• Missing subtle signals like body language, tone of voice, or when it is your turn to speak in a group. 

Strategies to Help 

Everyone is different, but here are some strategies that might help an autistic person: 

• Scheduled downtime: Build in quiet time before and after social events. Treat this as “recovery time” as a non-negotiable part of your schedule to prevent burnout.  

• Parallel play: Spend time with others by doing separate activities in the same room (like reading, crafting, or gaming) rather than feeling pressured to maintain a constant conversation. This applies to adults and teens as much as it does to children.  

• Soft focus: If eye contact is difficult, try looking at the person's nose, forehead, or just past their ear. This often looks like eye contact to the other person, but is less overwhelming for you. 

• Activity-based socialising: Choose to meet people through a shared hobby or task. Having a focus—like a board game, a craft, or a walk—takes the pressure off the social interaction itself. 

Finally, if you can, try being direct about your needs. It is okay to tell people you trust that you find certain social situations difficult, and to suggest an alternative.